| Stress is an ugly fact of life. | | | | Now you are in a dimwitty. What should you do? (I |
| Stress is a wonderful motivator. | | | | invented the word "dimwitty" but you know what a |
| Which stress are we talking about? The first turns us | | | | dimwit is, one that can't thing straight. In a situation |
| into a cucumber, a miserable wrinkled cucumber. We | | | | like this, you just can't think straight. You just want |
| lie down in the fetal position and quake. | | | | REVENGE.) |
| The second causes us to go into business for our | | | | Since Mildred is a woman, I suggest that you write |
| self and make a zillion dollars. | | | | her a note. Ask what is her motivation for spreading |
| Well, let's take them one at a time. | | | | untrue rumors about you to the coffee clutch. Tell |
| Ugly Stress | | | | her that you will be at the next coffee clutch and |
| Example 1: Your boss says that your work is | | | | that you would like to hear her apology. Tell her that |
| "unsatisfactory" and that if you don't improve within | | | | she may have jeopardized your upcoming wedding if |
| the next evaluation period, you will be terminated. | | | | the rumor spreads through the community. |
| Now the fact here is that the boss thinks that your | | | | You should expect a telephone call from Mildred. If |
| work is "unsatisfactory" and that if you don't improve | | | | she doesn't call you, call her and tell her you want to |
| within the next evaluation period, you will be | | | | sit down and talk with her. Do not talk with her on |
| terminated. | | | | the telephone about the problem. Insist that she |
| You must change his or her thinking. | | | | speak with you in person. |
| Here is what I suggest. You sit down and think about | | | | The above is a time consuming process. All the time |
| how you can improve your image with your boss. | | | | you will be stressed out so you must do something |
| Discuss this with associates if you trust them with | | | | about it. Items suggested are prayer, medication, |
| your privacy and value their judgment. Write several | | | | exercise, talking with a confident (perhaps your |
| items down on paper using a pen or pencil, not a | | | | minister), and watching old Three Stooges movies. |
| computer keyboard. Scratch out the bad ones and | | | | I say go to the driving range and knock that old |
| ad a few more new ones. Now rate the list as to | | | | Mildred off the tee for 300 yards! |
| what is important and what is not important. Scratch | | | | Oh yes, if you are in politics, you may want to |
| out all but five of the best ones. | | | | degrade the messenger. I think you should stay |
| Now were there any items on the list that are | | | | away from this. It will cause you much more stress |
| personal like I'll start using underarm deodorant? | | | | and spread the rumor further. |
| Scratch those items off the list. However, for | | | | Motivational Stress |
| heaven's sake, start using underarm deodorant. | | | | Sometimes we put stress on ourselves to get certain |
| Go to the computer and write a memo telling your | | | | things done. We get a bright business idea that will |
| boss what you are going to do to improve your | | | | make us rich and we call out the horses and race for |
| performance. What you are really doing is telling the | | | | the objective. Also, your boss might say that he has |
| boss what you are going to do to change his | | | | an objective and that you must achieve it in a certain |
| impression of you, but don't say that. If you have a | | | | amount of time. You are very excited about the |
| confident, show him the memo. Make changes if you | | | | project and off you go working sixteen hours a day |
| are certain that your confident is right on possible | | | | and on weekends. |
| changes. | | | | Just as Ugly Stress can cause you untold misery, this |
| When you have read the memo carefully and think | | | | Motivational Stress can hurt you too. You might have |
| that it is "good", sleep on it. If it still looks good in the | | | | a stroke or a heart attack. Your blood pressure may |
| morning, do not send the memo to your boss. | | | | skyrocket and your eyes may twitch. You have to |
| Instead, make an appointment with him. | | | | back off. |
| Take the memo with you to the appointment and tell | | | | The result of over achieving ( I mean over work) is |
| your boss that you have thought over what he said | | | | that burnout occurs. To avoid this you should plan |
| about your performance and that you have prepared | | | | your work schedule as carefully as you plan the |
| a list of things that will help you improve. | | | | work. You are human and not an untiring machine. |
| Ask him to go down the list and help you put into a | | | | You need time for exercise and recreation. You need |
| final working form. | | | | time with your family. You can't exclude all civic |
| That means you are going to add his suggestions to | | | | functions and church functions. You should try to live |
| the list. | | | | a normal although very active life. |
| If there is a time table for some items, then discuss | | | | Edison found that a brief nap helps. |
| this with your boss. If the boss suggest you remove | | | | Debt: A major cause of stress |
| an item because it is not a problem area, then that is | | | | In our day and age, debt is a major cause of stress. |
| in your favor. Remember that your boss may not be | | | | Bill collectors knocking on the door, calling on the |
| right in his or her evaluation but that he or she is the | | | | telephone, garnishing wages, and all the other things |
| boss. | | | | they do to collect owed money, works on our |
| After the interview, you will have a deep feeling as | | | | nerves to the point of mental breakdown. |
| to how effective you were in the interview, and you | | | | Unfortunately it also leads to bankruptcy and divorce. |
| will know how your boss summed you up. If he or | | | | The first thing you should do is write down your |
| she has given you a hint of dissatisfaction, even with | | | | income in one column and your debts in the other. If |
| your efforts to improve, then you may not be able | | | | your income it too low to pay off your debts then |
| to change his or her mind. While you are working on | | | | you must decide what to do. |
| your list, look for another job or see if you can | | | | One solution is to turn all of your bills into one gigantic |
| transfer to another department in your company. | | | | debt. This is called a debt consolidation loan. If you |
| You may have to play a little politics but you may | | | | decide to go this route, you must decide not to take |
| not have to leave the company. | | | | on any more debt. Any extra cash you have at the |
| If you are trying to improve yourself, others in your | | | | end of the month should be put on this loan until you |
| company will notice. For example, if you decided to | | | | get it paid off. (Yes, you should put some money in |
| take an accounting class at the local junior college as | | | | savings.) Then, other for a car and a house, stay out |
| part of your improvement program, then the word | | | | of debt for the rest of your life. You will save |
| will get around that you are taking the class. If you | | | | enough money in interest to buy a yacht. |
| decide to keep your hair combed, your shoes shined, | | | | If you don't want to consolidate your debt into a |
| and your breath sweet, or other things that were | | | | consolidation loan, then reduce your spending. Stop |
| NOT on your list, then people will notice. It may not | | | | smoking, drinking, going out for meals, etc. Cut off |
| assure you success with your boss (it could), but it | | | | the cable company (get free VCR tapes and DVDs |
| may assure you success in the company. | | | | at the library). Stop the newspaper. Learn to skimp |
| You might even get promoted to a position where | | | | and save. |
| your old boss is now working for you! | | | | Now, list all of your debts and their payments. Pay of |
| That is the best cure for some forms of stress: | | | | the smallest as fast as you can by doubling |
| REVENGE! Hey! It's payback time! | | | | payments, etc. Keep working up the list until the |
| The last items is called a dream. Forget getting | | | | biggest is all that is remaining. Take the money that |
| promoted over your boss and forget revenge. Just | | | | you are no longer paying on other debts and put it |
| keep doing everything you can to improve yourself | | | | on the largest loan until it is paid off. Okay, you can |
| from now on and the rewards will be very satisfying | | | | now get yourself a dish or go back on cable but |
| That is what this life is all about. | | | | don't start smoking again for heaven's sake. |
| Example 2: You are chatting with your friend over a | | | | If you can't resist the urge to spend then do it at |
| cup of cocoa when she (or he) says, "Mildred told | | | | yard sales. Put three bucks in your pocket and have |
| the coffee clutch that you had an affair with Bruce | | | | a blast! You can make money having your own yard |
| Handsome over the summer. Mildred said that you | | | | sales. There are a few of those "professional" yard |
| were not going to his art class only for landscape | | | | sale people in our town. You make money and meet |
| painting instructions." | | | | a lot of nice people. Another way to make a few |
| You of course are shocked. How could they say | | | | extra bucks is to sale the stuff you buy at yard |
| that--or how did they find out? You will automatically | | | | sales on You can also buy books for pennies and sale |
| say, "My--! Who said that? It's just not true!" | | | | them for dollars at or I wrote a 64 page booklet on |
| On your way home you will be thinking, What if | | | | that subject. Email me if you want a copy. My email |
| Harry (or Mary) finds out about this. He (or she) will | | | | address is on my web site. |
| call off our wedding. I could kill that Mildred Bodekker! | | | | Let's see: how many push-ups can you do? |