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Belize Cayes - A World Away From Reality

As the engine roar melted to a kitten soaked up the afternoon sun, and flipped
purr and our boat nuzzled up to the Caye through back issues of Mexican celebrity
Caulker pier, we did a quick inventory gossip magazines found discarded in our
check. Dancing palms, tick. Sun bleached room - anything to keep our minds off the
beach, tick. Island motto, "Go Slow", fact that our days of sloth were
painted lazily on a signpost stuck in the numbered. Back at the bungalow we hatched
sand, tick. I gave my partner in crime a our plan. We were not giving up our life
private smile. This was the place. We'd of leisure that easily. We would go down
escaped...for now.Bobbing up and down partying. Caye Ambergris awaited and I
against a tiny Belizean island on the had a birthday to celebrate.As the
Caribbean Sea wasn't in the original largest, most developed, and most
script. The plan had been to fly into expensive of the Belizean islands, Caye
Belize for a quick taste of eco-adventure Ambergris caters well for the first class
before slipping over the Guatemalan holiday seeker, with a range of villas,
border. But we'd got greedy, and four luxury home stays and resorts to choose
days later, we were still there with our from. To prepare for our last stand, we
hands caught in the action jar. Jungle checked into the mysteriously named Sun
hikes, eco-tours, Jaguar spotting, cave Breeze Beach Hotel, close to the main
tubing, Mayan ruins and mountain bike town of San Pedro, for some pampering and
treks. Where would it end? The equatorial creature comforts. The spacious rooms,
heat was on. We'd needed a place to lay resort style swimming pool, Jacuzzi,
low for a couple of days. Somewhere a man massage studio, swanky outdoor bar, and
could find a secluded beach and lie back international flavoured restaurant were a
and think of England, or anywhere else world away from the Gilliganism's of Caye
he'd rather not be. After making a few Caulker, but at only USD125 a night, my
discreet inquiries we knew there was only inner Thurston Howell the third was
one place to hide, and only one man calling.Pandered, pleasured, and fed in
powerful enough to help us get there. The ways that only money can buy, we climbed
man known only as, "The Marine Terminal to the lookout over the hotel bar.
ticket booth guy".So we paid for our boat Slipping in the hammock, we witnessed one
passes in small, unmarked bills, jumped of the most beautiful sunsets the
aboard the first vessel bound for the Caribbean has to offer. Swinging back and
islands, and left the spoils of mainland forth with a birthday cocktail in hand, I
adventure in our wake. Not that the warm could truly appreciate how delightfully
blue coastal waters were fooling us. Home far we were from anything resembling an
to more than one hundred and seventy office cubicle. Contemplation over, I
islands, or cayes, and the world's second made my final charge into the night.
largest barrier reef, it wouldn't be easy Crazy Canucks Bar, crazy Canadian in tow,
to keep our hands off a bounty of aquatic we drank, laughed and danced
fun that has tempted travellers since embarrassingly to reggae music until
Blackbeard and his Buccaneer posse sunrise.The following days we gorged on
cruised these waters back in the 1600's. water sports as fast as Caye Ambergris
Yet, as we stood on this unassuming wharf could dish them up. There was diving
and watched our getaway vessel pull out amongst some of the world's most
of dock, the captain turned to us with beautiful coral reefs, sailing tours
some re-assuring words of advice, "Relax around the island, deep-sea fishing for
mon. You're on Caye Caulker time now".If sailfish and barracuda, jet skiing and
Gilligan had ever taken up real estate paragliding off the sun-tickled beaches.
development, Caye Caulker town would have Oh how we feasted!Our hunger for aqua
been his Big Apple. Dozing peacefully on adventure finally satiated, we wandered
this slip of an island, the cluster of into town, plonked our behinds on the
brightly painted ramshackle beach nearest bikes for rent, and peddled to
hideaways, deserted beach lots, scattered the far reaches of the island. Crossing a
fishing boats, palm trees, sand floor small river by
restaurants, dive huts, and salty old man-pulling-rope-very-hard-powered ferry
sailors propping up bars at 11am in the to the less populated north island, we
morning, makes for the perfect getaway cycled along remote dirt tracks lined
haven.The jewels in Caye Caulker's crown with sweeping palm trees. Emerging from
are it minimalist pleasures. No the bush onto the beach at the edge of
international resorts, flashy nightclubs, the lapping blue Caribbean, it was a
or peak hour traffic. Remember the motto? leisurely ride along long stretches of
Go slow. Our mission, and yes we did white squeaky sand to the "money" end of
choose to accept it, was to find a town.The north beach plays host to
bungalow for as little as forty dollars luxurious resort bungalows and private
per night on a quiet stretch of squeaky beach villas. I pondered ambitiously over
white sand, treat our palates to an array the For Sale sign standing outside one
of seafood delights, and then debrief particularly hedonistic abode.
over a drink at a beach bar watching the Apparently, the former owner wasn't happy
sun slip beneath a sheet of Caribbean about motoring his 80ft cruiser around
blue sea. This message will self-indulge all that coral nonsense to moor outside
in five seconds.Before long, we'd slipped his beach palace. Being the
into the "no shoes, no shirt, no problem" entrepreneurial type, he'd used a few
and "sarong, swimsuit, smile" dress code, sticks of dynamite to blast a neat little
and immersed ourselves amongst the driveway straight through the reef.
welcoming band of eclectic castaways. It Unfortunately, the government didn't see
soon became clear that the local brew of it that way and sent him a fine big
Creoles, Central Americans, and Europeans enough to clear the Belize national debt.
posed little threat to our relaxation He was last seen paddling a canoe in the
plans. However, we'd have to keep tabs on direction of Cuba.A little further along
the North American retirees swerving we stumbled across Captain Morgan's
along the streets in rickety old golf Retreat, setting of the original
carts, sending dogs, children and Temptation Island show. As we stood
loitering tourists running for cover.For outside the Mecca of televised drama, so
three perfect days we hid behind many touching memories came flooding
sunglasses, cocktail umbrellas and back. Amber and Troy whispering under a
lobster menus, wondering if maybe, just palm tree, probably discussing the
maybe, there would be no more calls to effects of global warming. Shawana
action, and life really was a beach after ditching Gary and confessing to Chad 'you
all. Then one night, whilst minding our had me at "are those things real?"' At
own business over a couple of tall Panty that moment, I couldn't help but
Rippers at Popeye's Bar and Restaurant, appreciate the truly important things in
the bartender told us a man had been in life. I turned to the ski bunny and told
asking questions. "Did he know anyone who her she had a smile so beautiful it could
might like to explore the reef?" "Had he almost pass as cosmetically
seen any tourists dance so badly to the enhanced.Peddling across the beach
reggae band they couldn't possibly show towards town for the last time before
their faces around the island?" The next heading back to the mainland, we waved
morning, we went to see a man about a goodbye to all the things we loved about
snorkelling tour.Whilst experienced the cayes. The lazy palm trees, the ivory
divers prefer the more exciting sites in white sands, the aqua blue waters, the
the waters off Caye Ambergris, the hammocks swinging in the breeze, the
beautiful calm reefs of Caye Caulker friendly faces, the plastic whale and
offered the ideal setting for first timer dolphin fountain splashing water over
submariners like my nervous companion, a Jesus outside the pink Jehovah's Witness
Canadian mountain girl, much more at ease mansion...the what? Anyway, for a couple
in a set of ski's than a pair of of repeat adventure travel offenders, it
flippers.After the initial disappointment sure made a nice place for a day pass or
of learning that this wasn't my chance to two.Some have said I spend too much time
wear a tight rubber body suit in public, living in a fantasy world, that I need to
the reef snorkelling trip turned out to get a grip on reality. Sometimes I think
be a fantastic experience. We goggled and they're right. But then again, they've
gawked at the amazing array of fish, probably never been to the Belizean
eels, and spectacular coral formations. cayes.Simon Hillier is a freelance writer
The highlight of the three-hour tour was based in Sydney, Australia. His company,
Shark Ray Alley, where Nurse sharks Get There Writing Services, provides
circled our wary group from a distance copywriting, travel writing, feature
before weaving in for a closer look, and articles, scripts and ebooks that will
the Southern Ray stingrays slid their have your readers clicking and streaming
expansive wings over our bodies. Both for more. For further information on
proved to be fairly harmless, if perhaps Simon's article services, visit the
a little fresh for a first date.For the feature articles and travel writing
rest of the day hardly a word was spoken. section of the Get There Writing Services
Mountain girl and I adjourned to our website.
secluded patch of waterfront paradise,




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